I'm back!

I'm back to blogging. I'm sure it won't shock you that I haven't been dieting.

I weigh 235.5.

And here I go again..

Good News!!!

Just got a text from my mom! Her oncologist said that what showed up on her PET scan is just scar tissue from a previous lung infection. She'll have a CT of her chest in two months just to make her feel better, but he's positive that she's still cancer free!!! Thank you, Lord!!

Thank you all for praying for her!!!

Stressed.

Thank you so much for praying for my mom! Tomorrow can't come soon enough. I'm ready to get home to hug my parents & hear what mom's oncologist said about the results. Hopefully he'll schedule a biopsy, chest x-ray & ct quickly!

I ate everything I could get my hands on yesterday, and I haven't done much better today. Honestly, I just hope to maintain my weight until I can get my emotions in check better.

I haven't read anyone's blogs in the last few days, but I will catch up soon!

Keep praying! We really appreciate it!

START PRAYING!

We got some possible bad news today..

Good news: no bone cancer.
Bad news: possible lung cancer.

The PET scan showed something in one of her lungs. It's in the bottom lobe (can't remember which lung), and it's small. It could be an infection. She hasn't met with her oncologist yet to get the results. She checked them out herself (she was an X-ray tech before she was diagnosed in 2006).. so now we must wait until Friday before she can get scheduled for a lung biopsy &/or additional testing.

So, we need your prayers!!!!! I have two specific prayer requests-- Obviously the first request is that it is just an infection and not cancer. However, it might be cancer, so I want to ask for additional help from God. If it is cancer, let's pray for speedy appointments! The quicker we can get in for the additional tests, the quicker she can start fighting this beast!!

Please, please, please!! I'm begging you! If you're a person that prays, please pray for my momma!!!!!!!!

8 steps back.

We haven't gotten my mom's results yet.

I've been feeling pretty good about myself today. So much so that I decided to weigh myself.

238.

I've gained 8 pounds! This is crazy. I've been starving. Staying at 1200-1400 calories a day. Sure I haven't been working out, but that's no reason to GAIN 8 POUNDS!

The only thing I can think of is that I weighed in the middle of the day (with food in my stomach) instead of in the morning like I normally do. But did my morning oatmeal and about 24 oz of water REALLY weigh 8 pounds?

I've been on 16,934 diets in my life, so why am I so upset about this gain?

I might shut down my blog or at least stop blogging for a while. Perhaps I'm all talk and no action.

I hope everyone loses lots of weight while I'm gone!

Tomorrow's the day.

And I'm sooo nervous. Her appointment is at 11:30, so hopefully we'll find out the results by the end of the day.

Today's a new day.

Thank you all for your sweet comments on my last post. I really appreciate it. I wasn't really as down in the dumps as that post may have seemed.

Anyway, I've hardly eaten anything today. I've been wondering for the last couple of days if I have a mild case of swine flu. I live with my younger brother, and he is recovering from it. I thought I was doing soo well not catching it, because I got him all the way through it without feeling sick, but oh well.. If I do have it, I definitely don't have it as bad as he did. Poor boy was so sick! He was sleeping like 18+ hours a day, so I was waking him up every half hour when I wasn't in class to make sure he was getting enough fluids. Needless to say, I haven't been working out very much. Eh, I'm okay with that since I've done SO well staying in my daily calories. I should be pleased with my weight loss next week if I do get a work out in everyday.

So how do you guys work out in front of other people? I'm a little nervous about this.. I had to keep going over there to see if it was empty the few times I did go this past week. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed about it, hell, I could be sitting on the couch eating a bag of chips instead.. but I'm not.

If anyone happens to think about it anytime today or tomorrow, could you send up some prayers for my mom please? She has her PET scan on Monday.. Pray for no cancer! I can't tell if she's worried about it or not.. I tend to be the person in the family who does all the worrying! She seems pretty content with knowing that her tumor marker was normal, so she thinks it's just regular hip pain. But still.... at least we're about to find out one way or the other.

I can't believe this is Day 8, and I have not binged ONE SINGLE TIME. I haven't even had annoying cravings yet like I normally do (in the first hour of dieting! haha) I truly just decided that I cannot live another day as fat as this. I do not WANT to live like this anymore. My quality of life is crap, but it doesn't have to be! And the best part about it is.. it's my decision! It's all up to me!

Hope everyone is having a great day!

[Edit] I have decided to make two goals. I would like to lose 25 pounds before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is my birthday this year, and I'd like to have lost a grand total of 35 pounds by then. Secondly, I'd like to lose an additional 25 pounds between Thanksgiving and January 16th. That would put me at around 180 pounds the day of my cousin's wedding. These goals will be a stretch, but how great will it feel if I reach them?

Current weight: 230 lbs
Thanksgiving goal: 205 lbs
January 16th goal: 180 lbs

That will be a 60 pound lost, and I won't look like (as big of a) hippo next to my skinny cousins!